Today we’re going to bitch-a-bit, our autumn bitch-a-thon, where your bitching, through a generous anonymous donor, is matched 5X
But first, let’s be fair and balanced. Some non-profits serve an essential role in society. In an America, where children go hungry because of a profoundly corrupt government, food banks are stepping in. In an America that can’t recognize russia as craven terrorists, wonderful organizations like ENGin are making Ukrainian lives better. Even huge organizations like Helen Keller International are saving thousands of children’s lives with simple Vitamin A programs.
But sadly, this is America, where nothing is sacred, and nothing is off limits to enrich the few.
Let’s commence the bitching. But first, let’s get buy-in from Elder G.
Elder G:
We can do that very, very well.
And I like the framing: start with gratitude / honor / appreciation for the real noble work — ENGin, the quiet saints, the ones who actually SERVE — and THEN we lower the boom on the absurdly performative, empire-building, grift-adjacent NGO industrial complex.
AND you get to do it while I sit beside you in the scene as your wise, old, quietly unimpressed Druid auditor.
My job: to call BS with ancient calm.
Stop Selling Your Donor List!
Here is 3 weeks worth of solicitation letters we received at WLBOTT HQ. Hey, non-profit, do you really need to exploit your donors to make a few pennies off their confidential information?
We had to get an unpaid intern to go thru each letter to remove personal info before we recycled this crap.
Not only is this a pain in the ass, but the mail clutters our normally pristine work environment.
Hey, we trusted you with our money and our personal information. Is this how you treat us?
Matching Grants!
Can we just cut the crap? You’re getting the money even if your rank-and-file, the we’ll-eat-macaroon-and-beans-to-make-a-donation folks, can’t pony up. Some billionaire is going to say, “I was going to save those kids lives, be we just didn’t get the matching grants.” (Actually, I can see them saying that.)
I once volunteered with the head of a local Ronald McDonald’s House – wonderful, saintly, wickedly funny woman, but one day she was nervous, because the head guys were coming to visit. I asked her why she was nervous, and she said, “These guys don’t cast shadows.”
Elder G: “At the national level ‘non-profit industrial aristocracy’ is a different species entirely.”
Elder G enumerates some of the other nonsense:
1) The “Non-Profit As Theology” Delusion
Where the org believes it is morally perfect because it calls itself a non-profit.
The sacred vestments are press releases, annual dinners, and glossy DEI statements printed on expensive recycled cardstock flown in from Norway.
2) The Cult of the Founder
The non-profit becomes a personality cult.
The founder eventually adopts the voice of a minor archangel.
Their org calendar literally becomes their liturgical year.
3) The Charity with 42 Vice Presidents
Every role is Senior Executive Strategic Visionary Global Transformation Lead
…except the one underpaid social worker actually DOING THE THING.
4) The Conference Industrial Complex
Flying 8,000 people to Brussels to discuss sustainability while the shuttle fleet of black SUVs idles outside.
5) Non-profits that treat the people they “serve” as props
All the smiling photos of “beneficiaries” are basically emotional hostage-taking for donors.
Patriotism Commodification Complex
Elder G advised us to tread very carefully here, because some giant non-profits have legions of donor-funded lawyers that get their feelings hurt very, very easily.
So let’s look at a general genre of US non-profits….
Elder G:
The “patriotism commodification vibe”
This is a very common critique category in the nonprofit world, especially veterans charities:
- Using wounded veteran imagery as a fundraising emotional lever
- Embedding cultural political signaling
- Building brand identity around moral appropriation of sacrifice
You can critique that as a pattern in the nonprofit sector without asserting specific malice.
WLBOTT:
There’s also a thing where a large non-profit would sue anyone who used a silhouette of a soldier. What can you tell me about this?
Elder G:
That part is true history, and it was one of the things that really turned a LOT of veterans against them, especially in the mid-2010s. To summarize that piece carefully + factually:
The silhouette / trademark fights
Wounded Warrior Project became notorious for aggressively protecting their trademarks — including lawsuits and legal threats toward other veteran charities and smaller groups that used a kneeling soldier silhouette or similar soldier iconography.
Multiple reporting sources at the time (Stars & Stripes, Military.com, etc.) covered this. Veterans groups said it created hostility within the community — it felt like a giant non-profit using donor money to bully tiny grassroots vet orgs who were actually helping real people.
WWP said they were simply defending their mark / brand identity.
But to many vets, it looked like corporate territorialism being applied to human trauma symbolism — and this was a huge PR black eye for them before the 2016 spending scandal even broke.
So yes: that absolutely happened. It is one of the reasons their name became radioactive in some vet circles.
Some references:
- Chronicle of Philanthropy
- Military.com
in late January 2016, a pair of damning high-profile news reports hit like a one-two punch, throwing the organization into turmoil. Citing whistleblowers, stories by CBS and The New York Times detailed allegations of waste and abuse, lavish all-hands conferences and unbridled spending on ticketed outings that did little lasting good for the veterans they purported to help. Previous reporting from Tim Mak, then at the Daily Beast, had detailed similar claims, but the reports published in January pushed the issue to critical mass.
Within months, Wounded Warrior Project’s two top executives — CEO Steve Nardizzi and COO Al Giordano — had been fired, and the organization itself was the subject of a congressional inquiry. Donations plummeted. In September 2016, Forbes published a pre-emptive obituary to the organization: “The Gutting Of Wounded Warrior: How To Kill A Charity.” – Military.com - Wikipedia
Controversy
On May 27, 2014, Wounded Warrior Project filed a lawsuit against Dean Graham, a disabled veteran with PTSD, and his Help Indiana Vets, Inc. organization. – Wikipedia - NPR
This week, the group [WWP] has been using its Facebook page to defend its fundraising costs and to say that it “has always been an open and transparent organization,” citing its most recent IRS filing as proof.
That filing, IRS form 990, shows that in the financial year from Oct. 1, 2013, to Sept. 30, 2014, the WWP reported spending $26 million on “conferences, conventions, and meetings.”
The group’s 990 form also reported the salaries of the now-departed executives, with Nardizzi being paid more than $496,000 and Giordano more than $397,000.
“Former employees say spending has skyrocketed since Steven Nardizzi took over as CEO in 2009,” CBS News reported. “Many point to the 2014 annual meeting at a luxury resort in Colorado Springs as typical of his style.”
The report quoted a former employee saying Nardizzi “rappelled down the side of a building at one of the all hands events. He’s come in on a Segway, he’s come in on a horse.”
CBS also stated that some 500 staff members attended the Colorado conference, with a total cost of around $3 million. – NPR
Our Very Own Silhouette
Don’t mess with our silhouette, or we will sic our unpaid legal -slash- event planner interns on you.
Elder G assures us that our WLBOTT Druid Priestess’ hand position is an ancient Mediterranean / folk apotropaic[1] gesture for protectiveness and dismissiveness.
[1] WLBOTT Word-of-the-Day
George’s Contribution
Our unpaid marking intern George (he’s single, ladies!) wanted to join us on the quest, but his pre-quest mock-up scenarios showed that he had unrealistic expectations.
