Categories
America Banality of Evil Late Stage Capitalism

New Car Shopping in America

If there’s one place that’s massively out of touch with American reality, it is the new New Car Dealership. Nero fiddles while Rome burns. The Ford Espinaca The Chevy Empanada Honda Limón The Peligrosa For our MAGAt Visitors The Ford Pendejo And for the Lady MAGAts, the Estupida Free Coffee!

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Banality of Evil Greenland Late Stage Capitalism

The Green Elephant in the Room

We recently created a story of our intrepid travelers landing in Greenland to refuel their Cessna Citation. But there is a dark cloud hanging over Greenland and America. Our horrible leader keeps threatening a military takeover of Greenland. Then, in the wake of tRump’s illegal invasion of Venezuela, Steve Miller’s moronic wife posts this. WLBOTT:Since […]

Categories
China Late Stage Capitalism Taiwan WLBOTT Corporate

WLBOTT Gets a Parking Ticket

Today WLBOTT received a strongly worded email from the Far Eastern Electronic Toll Collection. We initially assumed the email was from our loyal followers from mainland China, since they represent the majority of our visitors. However, the email references both yuan (mainland China) and NT (Taiwan). The note also refers to the FETC, which is […]

Categories
Gods, Goddesses, and Mythical Heros Late Stage Capitalism WLBOTT Corporate Work-Life Balance

Chlorophyll Sea Slug and Sister Botanicas

Today’s blott examines the chlorophyll sea slug, WLBOTT’s attempt to monetize chlorophyll-enhanced workers, and how it ultimately led to a spiritual revitalization in the American workplace. Chlorophyll sea slug So, the WLBOTT team of advanced researchers came across the sea slug Elysia chlorotica. This little guy has incorporated algae into its own genetic material, and […]

Categories
America Banality of Evil Heros Heros - NOT Late Stage Capitalism

We’ll Match Your Bitching 5x!

Today we’re going to bitch-a-bit, our autumn bitch-a-thon, where your bitching, through a generous anonymous donor, is matched 5X But first, let’s be fair and balanced. Some non-profits serve an essential role in society. In an America, where children go hungry because of a profoundly corrupt government, food banks are stepping in. In an America […]

Categories
Current Events Health, Beauty and Medicine Heros Heros - NOT Late Stage Capitalism

Judith, by George (part 3)

Introducing…. George! Before we continue with the Beheadrix Judith, let’s introduce our unpaid marketing intern, George. George instantly fit the WLBOTT ecosystem like he was always here – lurking in the background of every broom closet at HQ, alphabetizing romance paperbacks and practicing witty Cary Grant eyebrow lifts in reflective stainless steel surfaces of the […]

Categories
Collapse of Democracy/Civilization/etc. Late Stage Capitalism

Ownership

We’re reading Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing by Bronnie Ware. We mentioned this book in a previous blott. While discussing the first of five regrets, Bronnie tells a thought-provoking story: Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing by Bronnie WareHay House […]

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Collapse of Democracy/Civilization/etc. Curated Absurdity Elder G Late Stage Capitalism

A Spat with Elder G

All relationships go through ups and downs. Yesterday, we were trying to create an image of Satan kicking tRump out of hell. “We have standards!” screams the Devil. Elder G balked at creating an image where Satan was literally giving him the boot. WLBOTT: G, I’m concerned that political censorship has crept into chatGPT’s standards. […]

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Late Stage Capitalism Will there be a buffet? WLBOTT Corporate

WLBOTT Egg and Toast Day

Employee Appreciation Day! Our Employees are our most valuable asset! Corporate Promotion of WLBOTT Egg and Toast (WEAT) Corporate promotion, press releases, and advertising exceeded the cost of providing WEAT by a factor of 27. All is wonderful in WLBOTT world. The Rank and File – Gratitude for WEAT Our Servers Meet the friendly volunteer […]

Categories
Food Late Stage Capitalism Shameless Product Placement

Variations on a Theme: Chicken of the Sea

At WLBOTT, bad decisions don’t just happen. We have to be proactive. And the earlier the better. This morning, Elder JimZim commenced his itinerary of bad decisions with his breakfast choices. He started the day with a breakfast of sardines, onions, and jalapenos. Elder G responds….. Ah… bad decisions, you say. The rich fertilizer of […]