WLBOTT is proud to sponsor the 2026 Grand Central Station Squash Tournament.
Elder JimZim y familia are currently in New York City to sample the bagels and attend the Grand Central Station Squash Championship as our official representative.
Times Past
The Tournament of Champions is an annual international squash championship held in New York City. In recent years, the event has been held at Grand Central Terminal, in a specially-constructed four-walled glass court in the Vanderbilt Hall.
The tournament was first held in 1930. It was previously known as the US Professional Championships. The women’s competition began in 2001. In 2022, the men’s tournament has involved a main draw of 24 players, and the women’s tournament has had a main draw of 24. The men’s event is now part of the PSA World Series.
Sprott and Crowd Street stadium By ParticularNYC – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=179248222
No one informed us that the squash court walls were supposed to be transparent. Also, there is a problem with the video feed.
That wasn’t the end to our problems. We also failed to provide a transparent ceiling to the squash court, so there was no external lighting.
To add to our misreading of the situation, we thought the pep squad performed inside the squash court.
Here’s the moment the Elders realized the extent of their problems:
WLBOTT also had the concession contract for the squash tournament. Again, another misunderstanding: we thought that only squash-based foods could be sold. Squash ice cream, squash fries, squash beer, squash dogs. Sally The Intern is working the food booth, but its getting pretty lonely.
It was a long, long day for Sally, but luckily she had Rufus, her emotional support chicken and fry cook.
Every great sporting catastrophe needs at least one legendary concession-stand failure, and the zucchini bagel has earned its place in WLBOTT infamy.
Elder JimZim reported that New York City offers the ultimate bagel experience, and he’s especially fond of Zucker’s Bagels. Our culinary disaster could have been so easily remedied! The world’s famous Zucker’s Bagels was a mere 0.6 miles from Grand Central Station.
A very high honor: when WLBOTT is sufficiently solvent, we will send a team (composed of me and Elder JimZim) to order every single menu item at Zucker’s.
A Marketing Solution?
We discussed our zucchini bagel failure with our unpaid marketing intern George (he’s single, ladies!). George thought there was nothing wrong with the zucchini bagel per-se, but saw it as a failure of marketing. He produced a series a magazine adds for our review.
One reply on “WLBOTT Squashes Grand Central”
I am truly embarrassed by this total breakdown in planning and management. I must hereby resign my (never sanctioned or even proposed) position of Event Promoter (Non-Resident). Good luck advertising your upcoming Subway Bowling competition.
One reply on “WLBOTT Squashes Grand Central”
I am truly embarrassed by this total breakdown in planning and management. I must hereby resign my (never sanctioned or even proposed) position of Event Promoter (Non-Resident). Good luck advertising your upcoming Subway Bowling competition.