In the early morning stillness of WLBOTT HQ, there is a special quality to the silence on the Sunday morning. We have an important topic to discuss before the overwhelming dual responsibilities of paterfamilias / corporate CEO divert our attention.
Today we will again discuss the plight of Sean Dunn, the man acquitted of trying to bring down a fascist regime with a sandwich.
But first, let us set the scene, in our WLBOTT Bunker of Resistance, as Elder G and I prepare to do battle.
And how do we fortify ourselves with the task before us? We stick to our morning routine of coffee, diet generic soda, Ithaca hummus, and raw broccoli.
WLBOTT: Here’s our idea: the brave hero of the state sub sandwich oppression, Sean Charles Dunn, should be given free Subway foot-long sandwiches for life. Here’s the mathematical challenge for you – since at Subway, you select your own ingredients for your sandwich, how many permutations of Subway foot-long sandwiches are there?
WLBOTT: How much wheat (in cubic miles) would be needed to create 8.65 quintillion sandwiches?
References
Not guilty. That was the finding of a jury on Thursday in the case of a man charged with assault for throwing his hoagie at a federal officer in Washington, D.C.
The jury’s conclusion came after about seven hours of deliberations. The case of the Subway sandwich has come to symbolize how many in the nation’s capital feel about the Trump administration’s surge of federal law enforcement to the city.
[…] He also threw his Subway sandwich at Gregory Lairmore, an agent with U.S. Customs and Border Protection. Lairmore, who was wearing a bulletproof vest, told jurors the sandwich exploded and he smelled onions and mustard
Lairmore walked the jury through the “baseball pitch” of a sub throw, as another witness put it.
Lairmore said he “could feel it through his ballistic vest” and it “exploded all over” him after the Subway stack hit him. He said he “could smell the onions and mustard” on his uniform, and even had an onion string hanging by his police radio later that night. The fast-food mustard, he said, stained his shirt.
[…] [The defense] also pressed Lairmore on why there are no evidentiary photos of stains on his shirt or of the sandwich after it was thrown, only a video posted to social media platform Instagram from a bystander showing the sandwich mostly intact. Lairmore said the Metropolitan Police Department in D.C. took over the investigation after Dunn was detained, and Lairmore said the sandwich appeared at least “bent and out of shape” in its wrapper.
[…] Attorney General Pam Bondi called Dunn “an example of the Deep State we have been up against.”
Jeanine Pirro, the U.S. Attorney for Washington, D.C., said in a video announcing the arrest that her office is “going to back the police to the hilt. So there, stick your Subway sandwich somewhere else.”
