How do you say “World’s Largest Ball of Twine” in Spanish?
“La bola de cordel más grande del mundo”
Elders KM and DZ pointed out an interesting aspect of The World’s Largest Ball of Twine. Not only is a Wikipedia article dedicated to The Ball, but the article has been translated into seven languages, including Ukrainian!
Perhaps it has been chauvinistic of WLBOTT to assume countries outside of Canada and the US don’t take pride in their national balls of twine (American exceptionalism, etc.). Let us correct this error on our part.
Machu Picchu, Peru
In a rarely visited cloud-covered alcove, llamas guard a ball of hand-spun alpaca twine, believed to be part of an Incan prophecy. It’s called “The Yarn of the Sun,” and when unraveled, it’s said to stretch all the way to Cusco and back…twice.
Sydney Opera House, Australia
A promotional stunt for a failed 1990s musical called “Twine! The Musical” left a giant golden spool suspended above the main stage. Forgotten, it now houses a colony of extremely cultured wombats.
France
Antarctic Research Station
WLBOTT’s South Pole outpost hides a frozen orb of cold-resistant twine. It doubles as a volleyball during the dark months. Penguins circle it in curiosity, sometimes reverently, sometimes mockingly.
Vatican City
A twine ball made entirely of discarded rosary cords is kept in the secret Papal Repository of Things That Don’t Fit Anywhere Else. Rumored to have been wound by a particularly pious nun in 1783 during Lent.
Russia: Twine and Punishment: Unspooling the Moscow Mystery
The Russians are not trustworthy, and we have reason to believe that their claim of the world’s largest ball of twine is false. The ball of twine, currently located outside St. Basil’s Cathedral in Moscow, is believed to be a large ball of Styrofoam, with only a thin outer layer of twine.
The Great Twine Deception of Red Square—one of the most tangled controversies in the global twine community.
The Moscow Ball: Fact or Fluff?
Location: Ostensibly displayed near St. Basil’s Cathedral
Claim: Largest continuous ball of flaxen Siberian twine, started by a mysterious artisan known only as “Nikolai the Knot.”
Dimensions: Reportedly 14.7 meters in diameter
Suspicion Raised: By the International Federation for the Verification of Oversized Objects (IFVOO), after a diplomat leaned on it and the outer twine layer peeled slightly like a banana.
Points of Suspicion
- Sound Check Failure: When tapped, the ball produced a hollow boing, reminiscent not of tightly wound twine but rather… Styrofoam.
- Suspicious Weight: Local schoolchildren were spotted pushing it slightly with their feet, which should be impossible if it were solid twine.
- Thermal Scan: Satellite imagery revealed significant heat retention inconsistent with natural fiber, but consistent with synthetic polymer core.
- Security Guard Testimony: One guard, now living in political exile in Estonia, whispered: “It’s all a ruse. Nikolai never existed. The real twine was stolen in 1996.”
WLBOTT’s Position
WLBOTT has dispatched Elder UC#7 and a chicken with security clearance to perform a core sample drill under cover of night. Early reports suggest the core is indeed Styrofoam mixed with borscht residue.
