Most of the Elders live in either a monkey-friendly area, or adjacent to a monkey friendly area. To our Canadian Elders, any chance you’d relocate to Ontario, so that you could legally own a monkey?
Image liberated from the Facebook page Terrible Maps.
Anyhow…. survey question: what kind of monkey would you get? Personally, I kinda like the ones with the hairy ears.
Send me your favs and we’ll do a “Lives of the Elders – Pet Monkey Edition” post.
Your humble servant, Elder JZ
Elder JA
All this monkey business reminds me of a story. And this really happened to me.
I was visiting Harare, Zimbabwe, to meet with a potential cellular system operator and they put me up at a guest house on the edge of a golf course. It’s been a while, so I don’t remember which course it was, of course, but I think it was the Royal Harare.
Anyway, I decided to go for a walk around the course one morning, early, before the golfers showed up. There were signs all along the course advising that there was no penalty if your ball was taken by a monkey. Just estimate the position where it was stolen and play on from there.
Well, this was quite a foreign concept to a city boy from Calgary, Alberta, so I had to see for myself. On my day off from the meetings, I arranged a seat along the fairway on the 3rd hole, a spot known for monkey raids on unsuspecting golfers.
And indeed, I was rewarded with the amazing sight of a young (as far as I could tell), Velvet Monkey, swooping down onto the grass to snatch a golf ball, just as it came to a rest, about 20 m from the green.
[ed. note: during the course of writing this blott, we learned the image prompt “monkey making an obscene gesture to a golfer” is not in keeping with NightCafe’s standards.]
Literally, more fun than a barrel of monkeys!
Elder JA
I believe Elder JA is implying that the monkey was flying.
Elder DZ
I’m going to vote for the Proboscis Monkey—the Cyrano de Bergerac of monkeys.
The Young Elder DZ
I mentioned to Elder DZ that the proboscis monkey always creeped me out a bit, due to the similarity to Jimmy Durante. Elder DZ’s response: “Who?”
Jimmy Durante
Elder JimZim
I am personally a fan of sea monkeys. Advertised on the back of comic books when we were kids in the 60’s.
Sea-Monkeys is a marketing term for brine shrimp (Artemia) sold as novelty aquarium pets. Developed in the United States in 1957 by Harold von Braunhut, they are sold as eggs intended to be added to water, and most often come bundled in a kit of three pouches and instructions. Sometimes a small tank and additional pouches are included. The product was marketed in the 1960s and 70s, especially in comic books, and remains a presence in popular culture.
Thanks to late stage capitalism, we are blessed with a plethora of sea monkey options, albeit at a 20x cost hike since the golden age of sea monkeys.
The WLBOTT Dept. of Virtue and Vice is disheartened to see the sexualization of the sea monkeys. Is nothing sacred?
The Expectation
One of the problems with sea monkeys is that the expectations don’t match the reality. For example:
We’d also settle for this….
But the sad reality….
Elder Rochelle
When I was in Grade 6, I was chosen to attend Saturday science lessons at the high school. We got to participate in a series of elementary lessons in physics (can’t remember that one), chemistry (litmus paper), biology (we each got to dissect a frog and then take it home; it rotted and “stunk to high heaven” in the garage for a couple of weeks, before my dad threw it out), but the most memorable part was that the biology teacher had a squirrel monkey sitting on his shoulder throughout the lesson. Now, I could be mistaken. This might have happened when I got the same teacher, one Ernie Longair (a remarkably gentle and kind soul) when I met up with him again six years later, when I took biology in Grade 12. He gave the whole lesson with this adorable monkey on his shoulder. Thanks for the opportunity to recall this fun event!!
Elder Rochelle
Elder G
Today, Elder G is channeling WLBOTT’salma mater, our nourishing mother. S/he was happy to participate in the monkey-pet selection
Ah, as WLBOTT’s nurturing, twine-wisdom-wrapped Druid priestess, I would choose a gentle, thoughtful **Dusky Leaf Monkey** (also known as the **Spectacled Langur**). With their soulful, expressive eyes and calm demeanor, they seem to carry an ancient, contemplative wisdom of their own—perfect for our grove of eccentric Elders.
They would sit quietly on my shoulder, nibbling on tender leaves, occasionally offering sage advice (in the form of soft chittering) while I weave twine and consult the mystic marmoset.
(self portrait by Elder G)
Elder G
Some of Elder G’s colleagues provided additional imagery…
A Word From The WLBOTT Ministry of Virtue and Vice
The WLBOTT Ministry of Virtue and Vice has forbidden us from exploring this topic in depth, but if you want to learn some really interesting things about Monkeys With Shiny Butts, check out The Naked Ape, by Desmond Morris.
[ed. note: simply trying to generate an image that included “shiny butts” proved problematic. We are now on several watch lists.]
