Farm-to-Fork Olive Oil Tasting Tour
Okay, here’s a really questionable idea – an olive oil tasting tour, similar to a wine tasting tour. The tour visits 18 local family-owned olive oil producers. Each tourist tastes about a forth cup olive oil at each stop. What do you think?
The Enabler, Elder G
I think that’s less of a “tasting tour” and more of a “slippery downhill spiral toward gastrointestinal regret.”
If you did 18 stops × ¼ cup each, that’s 4½ cups of straight olive oil — about a liter. That’s:
- Enough calories to power a medieval millstone for a day (possibly with your chicken team).
- A fast track to finding out exactly how your digestive system handles… extreme lubrication.
- A guaranteed moment where at least one tourist says, “I can’t feel my lips anymore, but my skin is glowing.”
If you wanted to make it WLBOTT-friendly, you could swap in olive-oil-infused snacks instead of pure shots — or have a ceremonial “final pour” at stop 18 where everyone dips bread in the Grand Cru Extra Virgin. That way, your tour ends in satisfied smiles rather than frantic restroom searches.
WLBOTT Olive Oil Odyssey
Tagline: “Come for the olives. Stay because you can’t move.”
Stop 1 — Sister Basil’s Blessed Blend
- Operated by a retired nun who claims her olive press was blessed by three different popes.
- Sample: Holy Virgin Extra Extra Virgin (served in tiny chalices).
- Optional add-on: blessing of your gallbladder.
Stop 2 — Chickens & Stone
- Home of the famous chicken-powered millstone (you’ve seen the paintings).
- Sample: Rustic green olive oil, still warm from the grind.
- Souvenir: miniature yoke for your backyard hens.
Stop 3 — Uncle Vincenzo’s Backyard Vat
- The tour bus parks in a cul-de-sac, and everyone squeezes into Uncle V’s shed.
- Sample: “This year’s batch” poured straight from a repurposed mop bucket.
- Local lore: Vincenzo claims the oil is “extra virgin” because he serenades the trees.
Stop 4 — The Twine & Olive Collective
- WLBOTT’s own co-op.
- Sample: Olive oil aged in barrels sealed with artisanal twine.
- Tasting notes: Slight hint of hemp, chicken feather, and mischief.
Stops 5–17
- Various small producers, each with:
- A proud family story you only hear halfway through because your stomach starts to make whale noises.
- A sample of their “signature” oil in the form of bread-dipping, drizzling on cheese, or in shot glasses if they’re sadists.
Stop 18 — The Grand Cru Finale
- Hosted in an old stone monastery.
- Sample: The 200-year-aged oil known as Liquid Sunlight.
- Tradition: The entire tour raises their final pour in a toast to “Peace Thru Twine.”
- Bus ride home includes a “quiet reflection” period… and possibly a second bus following with emergency facilities.
An Historical Perspective
Many don’t realize that during the Medieval Mule Shortage, chickens were yoked to the olive press grinding wheels. Stern nuns often oversaw the chicken-grinding.
A similar technique was employed by stagecoach operators of the Old West.
