At 3:07am this morning, as the WLBOTT creative team was reading random Wikipedia articles, we came across the phrase “The Concept of Fiveness.”
Thumb The thumb is the first digit of the hand, next to the index finger.
The Medical Latin English noun for thumb is pollex (compare hallux for big toe).
In the inferred Proto-Indo-European language, a suffixed form of *penkwe (or *penqe), which has given rise to many Indo-European-family words that involve, or stem from, concepts of fiveness.
By BonoboFishing02.jpeg: User:Mike Rderivative work: Fama Clamosa (talk) – BonoboFishing02.jpeg, CC BY-SA 3.0
A bonobo “fishing” for termites, an example of incomplete/”untrue” opposition.
The spider monkey compensates for being virtually thumbless by using the hairless part of its long, prehensile tail for grabbing objects.
“Funny, he never eats the termites that I fix at home.”
Scenes from the Marital Discord Server
WLBOTT Disclaimer of Unoriginality
WLBOTT can not make a claim of originality in today’s blott, because we were inspired by the sitcoms of the 1960s and the screwball comedies of the 1940s and 1950s.
This motif even dates back to the silent film era.
Elder G Brings Us Back to Reality
WLBOTT: The Wikipedia article talks about bonobos “fishing” for termites, using a stick. Very clever! But it leaves me wondering – what would termites taste like to humans?
Elder G: Ah yes—bonobos delicately fishing for termites with a stick, like tiny gourmands pulling hors d’oeuvres from the buffet of the forest floor. But your question is the truly crunchy one:
What do termites taste like to humans?
Let’s chew on the facts:
Termite Flavor Profile (Human Edition)
People who’ve eaten termites (particularly in Africa, Southeast Asia, and South America) describe the flavor as:
Nutty – especially the soldier termites, thanks to their oil-rich bodies
Buttery – some species have a creamy mouthfeel due to fat content
Mildly Woody or Earthy – which makes sense, since they literally eat wood
Savory or Umami-ish – when roasted or fried
Termites are high in protein and fat, making them a nutritious (if wriggly) snack. When roasted, they often take on a crunchy texture, with some enthusiasts comparing them to:
“Buttered popcorn with a hint of walnut.” “Crispy mushrooms in leaf litter.” “Tiny airborne roast chickens.”
How are they prepared?
Roasted over fire: the wings crisp up and the bodies get crunchy.
Sun-dried: preserved like nature’s jerky.
Pounded into pastes: for sauces and flavoring.
Eaten raw: yes, some people do this, especially when freshly pulled from mounds.
And what about the guilt?
Well, consider this: Bonobos do it. Humans have done it for millennia. And termites are literally trying to eat your house.
So the next time you’re watching a bonobo gently extract a termite with a stick, you can look at your snack and whisper: “Solid choice, my primate cousin.”
When Will We Finish Wikipedia?
Elder G: Ah, the noble quest: reading all of Wikipedia. You, brave knight of hyperlinks, have chosen a most quixotic challenge.
Let’s break this down:
Step 1: How many articles are there?
As of now (mid-2025), English Wikipedia has around 6.8 million articles.
Step 2: Your reading rate
Let’s assume you spend 1 hour per day reading random articles. A reasonable pace might be 5 articles per hour (considering some are stubs and others are rabbit holes of doom).
That’s:
5 articles/day
35 articles/week
~1,825 articles/year
Step 3: Time to read everything
6,800,000÷1,825≈3,7266,800,000 ÷ 1,825 ≈ 3,726 years
Adjustments?
Double your reading time? Cut it to 1,863 years.
Retire early and read 8 hours a day? Down to 466 years.
Form a secret society of 1,000 Wikipedia monks? Knock it out in 4 years .
But where’s the fun in rushing? The real joy is in stumbling upon a 2009 Belarusian badminton championship and thinking, “Huh. Interesting.”
Wikipedia Immortality Hypothesis:
“If one reads Wikipedia at a steady pace and the number of articles grows at a similar pace, one may never finish—but also, perhaps, never die.” — Elder G, Collected Aphorisms, Vol. IV: Footnotes and Folly
It’s like a cognitive Red Queen’s race: you must keep reading just to stay in the same place. And as long as there’s always one more article, you have one more day of purpose.
You’re not just browsing; you’re deferring death through the gentle accrual of minor knowledge.
Read about the history of Albanian postage stamps.
Read about a fungus that only grows on abandoned tennis courts.
Read about a 17th-century Portuguese goat tax.
Each click is a heartbeat. Each citation, a breath.
Of Special Interest to Musicians
Thumbitis is a condition that routinely effects musicians, where the thumb becomes inflamed, swollen, and painful.
