Many years ago, as an inchoate proto-WLBOTTer (December 8th, 2004, as it turns out), I read a book called 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life by Dr. Henry Cloud. Chapter 8 caught my attention: Hate Well.
Q: How cool is the Austin Public Library? A: Very cool.
Some Kindle excerpts from Henry Cloud’s 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life (some minor formatting/highlights are mine)
9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life Cloud, Henry
Citation (Chicago Style): Cloud, Henry. 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life: A Psychologist Learns from His Patients What R. Thomas Nelson, 2007. Kindle edition.
8. PRINCIPLE 6: HATE WELL
[Page 141] WHY WE HATE One evening as I was doing a seminar I asked people in the audience to list what comes to mind when they thought of the word hate. The response I got was a list of bad things:
• You should not feel it.
• I do it too easily.
• I feel guilty for feeling it.
• It comes from fear.
• I feel uncomfortable with hate.
• I am afraid to show it.
Such answers were pretty much what I expected, and they are probably typical of those most of us have when we think of hate. Principle Six’s concept of hating well seems like an oxymoron to most of us. We try to get over hatred because we have all seen the destruction that it causes. We usually think of hate as a problem to be solved. In reality, though, hate is one of the most important aspects of being human. It is one of the most crucial ingredients of a good person’s character. What we hate says a lot about who we are, what we value, what we care about. And how we hate says much about how we will succeed in love and life.
What We Hate Defines Us First, let’s consider why we say that what we hate is important. Basically, we are defined in part by what we love and what we hate. What we love says what we will invest in, go for, move towards, give time and resources to, and orient ourselves toward with the best parts of who we are. You can tell a lot about people by what they love. You think differently, for example, about someone who “loves his family” as opposed to someone who “loves to win at all costs.” What he loves gives you a window into his soul, and you know what to expect from him.
[Page 142] Likewise, we can know a lot about people by what they hate. […] What would you think, for example, about a person who said that he hates the following things: arrogance, lying, innocent people being hurt, harmful schemes, evil practices, telling lies about others, and things that stir up dissension among people? If a person said that he hated those things, and his life demonstrated the truth of his claims, wouldn’t you be inclined to like that person? Even trust him?
[Page 143] Our character is in some ways formed through a process of what we move against, or as psychologists put it, what we differentiate ourselves from.
[Page 146] HOW WE HATE What we hate is important in defining who we are and what we stand for and against. But another important aspect of hate is how we hate. Déjà vu people hate in a certain way. They can be depended on to hate in a way that solves problems as opposed to creating them. […] Successful people move against the problem, and show love and respect to the person at the same time.
HATING UNWISELY Some of the worst diseases are of the class called autoimmune. Within that classification are diseases in which the immune system starts attacking the body itself instead of the disease. The healthy cells and organs are attacked, and health is destroyed in the process. A system designed to protect the good and destroy the bad goes wrong and begins to do the opposite. It causes more harm than good. The same thing happens when a person does not hate well. He uses his hatred in a way that hurts things he cares about, such as people, a home, or even himself.
And where shall we focus our hate today? Cedar Pollen.
Before we sharpen our rhetorical pitchforks, here is a quick field briefing on our nemesis, commonly known as Cedar Fever, the seasonal curse that descends on Central Texas like an invisible yellow fog with a personal vendetta.
December 29th, 2020 – a day that will live in Allergy Infamy, because COVID wasn’t enough of God’s Wrath. (For reference purposes, pain and suffering begins at about 50 gr/m3)
Austin Regional Clinic Top 10 tips to manage cedar fever
Hetu Y. Parekh, MD, ARC Allergy and Asthma specialist, recently shared some tips with Spectrum News on what he tells his patients to help them survive cedar season.
Here are Dr. Parekh’s top 10 tips on managing cedar season allergies:
Wash hair before bedtime to remove cedar pollen and minimize allergies during sleep.
Use a saline rinse like NeilMed Sinus Rinse, especially at bedtime, to wash out cedar pollen from nasal passages and maintain proper membrane moisture.
Monitor weather and pollen forecasts, choosing indoor activities on dry, windy days with high pollen counts.
Keep windows closed to avoid exposing your living space to cedar pollen during the night.
Schedule out-of-town trips in January to escape cedar season allergies.
Take allergy medications consistently, starting before the season begins, and use them daily to prevent symptoms from worsening.
Maintain regular use of asthma medications for optimal control.
Avoid cutting down cedars, as it won’t reduce overall pollen counts due to the windborne nature of cedar pollen.
Note that consuming local honey is ineffective against cedar allergies, as cedar pollen is windborne and not carried by bees or flying insects.
Eat tortilla soup; it might work. Eating hot tortilla soup is a popular folklore remedy around central Texas. The steam and humidity would likely be helpful with symptoms of the moment, like when you eat chicken soup. But, sorry to say, it won’t help in the long run.
We feel the cedar pollen is mocking us, and well deserving of our hate. Our anger is righteous.
WLBOTT Suffers
Even the pets are suffering….
And the Cows….
WLBOTT Takes (Symbolic) Acction
And then there’s George
You recall George, our unpaid marketing intern (he’s single, ladies!)? George displayed quite a bit of initiative, putting together his own Druid lumberjack team to help with the cedar removal.
