At WLBOTT, we enjoy a variety of religious experiences. For the most part, as long as our primary allegiance is to twine and shareholder value, we encourage our flock to seek their own path to truth.
A few exceptions apply: we find dogmatic atheists and evangelical, magaT Christians to be equally tedious and stultifying[1]. And although we encourage free expression, proselytizing[2] to anyone younger that 18, or before 9:00am, is never allowed.
[1] WLBOTT Word of the Day
[2] Bonus Word of the Day
As examples of our ecumenicism[3], Sister Magdalena often speaks of “Free Range Catholicism”, while Brother Rutabaga speaks in terms of amorphous vapors. Our film critic Clementine DuCinema describes movie theaters as the modern day Cathedrals. Fred, our penitent intern (of the Whoopee Cushion incident https://www.wlbott.com/?p=62483), likes the concept of indulgences knocking off a few eons of this celestial time-out in Purgatory.
[3] Triple W-O-T-D Bonus
Although not officially required, funny hats are encouraged.
A Quick Semi-Sequitur
Just a quick aside. I hate to break the flow of this blott, but I feel I must bring this to your attention, gentle visitor. I’m crafting images to demonstrate the ecumenical nature of our WLBOTT top brass, and Gemini and NightCafe are creating nice images like this…
… while Perchance, our either under- or over-medicated free image generator, using the exact same prompt, is creating this….
A Near-Miracle Averted
Anyhow….
Although this stretches credulity, this story is mostly true.
Yesterday, in my official capacity as paterfamilias, I was talking with my son, a religious studies scholar, about an interesting passage from the Christian New Testament, John 14. In the biblical narrative, Jesus has died, was resurrected, and then spent some time with his disciples. In John 14, he’s wrapping things up, knowing that he’ll be leaving soon. He has a lot of encouraging things to say, such as
- Do not let your hearts be troubled.
- My Father’s house has many rooms.
- If you love me, keep my commands.
- I will not leave you as orphans.
- Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
- Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
But the next-to-last verse has a different tone:
I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me….
Assembling the WLBOTT team, we briefly looked at all 50 or so translations on the Bible Gateway, and there seems to be a consensus that the “prince of the world” is a bad dude – perhaps Satan himself. Sometimes translated as “leader of the world”, “ruler of the world”, “prince (evil genius, ruler) of the world”, “the spirit that rules this world”, “evil prince”, “chief of this godless world”, “Sar HaOlam Hazeh”.
Anyhow….
I went for my 5:00am walk at the local YMCA. The YMCA has a “red letter” large print bible in the common area. (A “red letter” bible is one where quotes from Jesus are printed in red.) As I was leaving the Y following a vigorous 3 minute walk, I noticed that the bible was open to a page that was almost solid red. Curious, I walked over and noticed that the bible was open to the exact page that my son and I were discussing! [ed. note: this part is 100% true.]
Before contacting the local diocese to report this miracle, we decided to run it by Elder G first.
My first guess: John 14 is a very common comfort passage, especially because of lines like “Let not your heart be troubled” and “In my Father’s house are many rooms.” So the YMCA Bible may have been opened there by someone seeking comfort, preparing a devotional, or marking a familiar passage. Then your conversation with your son made the same passage glow in your mind, turning an ordinary page into a tiny theological jump-scare.
My second, more WLBOTT-adjacent guess: the Bible has a physical tendency to fall open there because it has been opened to John 14 so many times before. The spine is trained. The book is basically doing muscle memory.
My third guess, suitable for courtroom testimony by Sister Magdalena: a YMCA regular named Gary keeps opening it to John 14 every morning before leg day, and no one has stopped him because he can bench-press a hymnbook.
I’m betting on the second one: the Bible naturally falls open to a well-worn, frequently visited passage.
“and then the investigators noticed one small detail that cracked the case wide open”
– every Snapped episode ever
Then I remembers that Son had mentioned that the passage was on his mind because it was in the daily reading at mass.
Providential Sparkle and Mundane Logistics
Elder G revised his/her assessment:
The liturgical breadcrumb trail checks out.
For Tuesday, May 5, 2026, the Catholic daily Mass Gospel was John 14:27–31a, according to the USCCB daily readings. Catholic Online and other daily-reading sites list the same Gospel passage.
So the chain of events could be:
- Someone attends daily Mass.
- They hear John 14, especially “Peace I leave with you…”
- Later, perhaps at the YMCA, they open the foyer Bible to revisit it.
- You arrive the next morning, after discussing John 14 with your son, and the coincidence goblin puts on tap shoes.
That is actually better than a supernatural explanation.
We still thought there must be some level of divine page turning at the Y. We explained the situation to Sister Magdalena, but apparently her calendar was pretty full today, and had misplaced the bishop’s number, and she needed to wash her backup habit, and, oh dear – are those chaplet bells ringing in the distance?
Ultimately, Bishop Bellweather, who may be growing weary of WLBOTT, told Sister Magdalena to “handle it, with extreme prejudice.”
