Just when we thought we’d run out of curated absurdities, The Guardian comes to our rescue!
A senior Pentagon official in Donald Trump’s administration had a months-long extramarital affair with a woman claiming to be “the internet’s most notorious astrologer” – and claims in a defamation lawsuit filed in Florida that she cyberstalked him and his wife after they split up.
Court papers in Palm Beach county allege that Amy Tripp, known as Starheal to her tens of thousands of social media followers, was so upset by the end of the relationship that she repeatedly threatened and harassed the victim, identified as Anthony Tata, who assumed office as the undersecretary of defense for personnel and readiness in July.
Tata – a 65-year-old former Fox News contributor, retired army brigadier general and author of a series of military-themed novels – has previously made numerous Islamophobic and inflammatory comments, including calling Barack Obama a “terrorist leader”.
Tripp, it said, took the breakup badly and began a campaign of harassment that featured hundreds of calls and text messages to Tata and his wife. “During these conversations, Ms Tripp threatened that she would ‘beat the shit’ out of John Doe’s wife, that she was going to ruin both of John Doe and John Doe’s wife’s lives, and that they needed to ‘watch our backs’,” the lawsuit said.
In another message, after Tata’s wife pleaded to be left alone, Tripp is said to have told Tata in a message: “If your wife texts me again she’s going to be picking her teeth up. Pass it on.”
With this story, the road can go on forever, and the party will never end.
The Legal Settlement
Bizarrely, the legal settlement requires Tripp to attend Thanksgiving dinner at the General’s house.
WLBOTT Ministry of Poultry Affairs notes:
His wife muttered: Pass the twine. I need something stronger than wine.
The astrologer foresaw awkward silence, but failed to predict the overcooked green beans.
The general checked his horoscope: Today you will lose respect faster than mashed potatoes lose heat.
The 9-panel GOP-appointed esteemed adjudicators:
A Little Bit about StarHeal
I’m Amy Tripp, a professional astrologer and licensed therapist whose journey into the stars was unexpected yet profoundly transformative. With a background in psychology from UNC-Chapel Hill and a Master’s degree in Social Work from NYU, astrology wasn’t initially part of my career trajectory. However, a chance encounter with astrology readings sparked a curiosity I couldn’t ignore.
The multi-faceted nature of Tripp’s talents is shown in her promotional images. The talents are immediately obvious to even the casual observer.
A Word of Caution
We caution our viewers to not confuse starheal.com with starheel.com – a non-existent site dedicated to curing heel and foot ailments via astrological readings.
Related: GOP Gender Affirming Care
Is Mara Lago Face the new Loyalty Test?
Plastic Surgeons Reveal How Much It Costs To Get A ‘Mar-A-Lago Face’
Facelift, eyelid surgery, fillers, Botox, laser treatments, jaw implants … the list goes on.
By Jamie Davis Smith, Guest Writer Jul 2, 2025, 07:00 AM EDT|Updated Aug 4, 2025
The cost of achieving a Mar-a-Lago Face varies based on the extent of the cosmetic interventions. The fees that plastic surgeons charge for various procedures also differ significantly. Nevertheless, Nykiel estimates that it costs upwards of $90,000 to achieve the look, with the cost rising even higher if a woman uses a top, in-demand plastic surgeon.
And the spending doesn’t end there. Mar-a-Lago Face requires regular maintenance with several procedures and treatments. These ongoing costs easily add up to approximately $625 per quarter, Nykiel said. Plus, the “surgical lifts are typically refreshed every 10 years,” he says. This adds tens of thousands more to the cost of maintaining the look.
Women may chase Mar-a-Lago Face because “a shared aesthetic can say, ‘I’m one of you,’ or ‘I’m part of the club,’ without ever speaking a word,” Whitmore said. The look can also exude confidence and control, she explained. Whitmore also thinks that the “Palm Beach effect” is partly responsible for the rise of Mar-a-Lago Face among conservative women everywhere — Mar-a-Lago is located in Palm Beach, where “the local culture celebrates class and glamour,” she said.
