Yesterday at WLBOTT HQ, we had a situation. A 250 oz / 1.95 gal / 7.39 liter container of liquid laundry soap leaked all over the combination laundry room / garage / cheese curd aging facility.
We didn’t notice the spill until it had flowed, like a gooey tidal wave, across the containment area.
We sprung into action. Initially it was just me and Spousal Unit.
We quickly realized we were in way over our heads….
We reached out to our International WLBOTT community, and they quickly responded to our cry for help.
Phase II
Phase II consisted of hauling endless milk crates of soap-soaked crap out of the garage and into the back yard. It took a while to rinse off the goo.
Elder G story-boarded the entire escapade, including the commemorative ceremony.
The Legend
As often happens with the Adventures of the Elders, an oral tradition is formed and the story is passed down from generation to generation. We used our WLBOTT time machine to peak into the future. How has this event been memorialized?
We were puzzled, as you must be, why in the distant future, this event took on the aspects of a fertility ritual.
References
The Historical Plaque
WLBOTT HISTORICAL SOCIETY
PLAQUE #427B – CERTIFIED STICKY INCIDENT
“The Great Soap Spill of 2025”
April 16, 2025 • Central Texas Sector HQ
On this otherwise unremarkable spring morning, a catastrophic rupture occurred in a 250-ounce bottle of Ultra Clean™ Lemon Fresh Laundry Detergent. The resulting flood of goo engulfed approximately 112 square feet of garage territory, disrupting storage systems, toppling cardboard empires, and temporarily demoralizing several garden tools.
Emergency protocols were enacted. Elders hauled assorted objects—including rusted folding chairs, sentimental birdhouses, and a rogue croquet mallet—into the backyard. A garden hose, wielded with valor, became the sole line of defense against encroaching citrus-scented chaos.
The incident is remembered not for its devastation, but for its unity. And for the smell, which lingered for three fiscal quarters.
Dedicated to all who slipped, slogged, or silently cursed.
Better Living Through Twine—Now in High-Efficiency Formula.
