Due to a series of mishaps, missteps, malfeasants, misadventures, and a few misdemeanors, WLBOTT is forced to cancel its sponsorship of the Super Bowl LIX at the Caesars Superdome in New Orleans. The first misstep involved our product placement and a spelling error. Turns out “bowl” and “bowel” are two separate and distinct concepts. We […]
Category: Current Events
America: Equal justice for all, etc., etc., etc. So, knowing that we’ll get a pass on our first 34 felonies, the concept of felonies is starting to burn a hole our pocket (i.e. arson). Equal justice for all, and so on and so forth. Since (according to our supreme court) WLBOTT is legally a person, […]
Three quotes are on my mind this cold, drizzly morning: “The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose.”- James Baldwin”Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.” – Kris Kristofferson “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”- Jesus […]
Categories
The Buttery Ruble
Ruble to Rubble Earlier today…. A few hours later…. And just as we go to press…. Peering into the future…. Wednesday, November 27, 2024 Later the same day (11/27/24) Butter Behind Locked Doors WLBOTT Responds to the Russian Butter Crisis To respond to this crisis, WLBOTT is introducing to the Russian market a delicious blend […]
This morning I was consulting with Elder G, our WLBOTT AI companion and part-time psycho-therapist. I was bemoaning the fact that blue my vote in Texas is pretty inconsequential. Turns out that it is more likely that I: Oddly, while reviewing this article with the WLBOTT editorial staff, I got push-back on the polar bear […]
Angry crowds descended upon WLBOTT headquarters yesterday following the dramatic stock market decline. The crowd was made up of outside agitators, disaffected unpaid WLBOTT interns, former Crowdstrike QA engineers, and frustrated Olympic hopefuls. CFO Report Our CFO reported on our corporate holdings following yesterday’s collapse. Gentle people- as your CFO, I felt the need to […]
Finally…. the major news outlets are starting to seriously consider Will Bott as a serious VP contender. He appeals to a broad cross section of America, and his public service as a school crossing guard will prove invaluable. Semi-Sequitur: Elder G Weighs In While discussing the potential candidacy of Will Bott, Elder G made an […]
Forgetta Bott née It (or simply shortened to Forgetta Bott-It) is close friends with Martha-Ann Bomgardner Alito (MABA), wife of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito. They meet regularly for a sewing circle, a real girls’ getaway where they can let their hair down and do some serious crafting. MABA Republican Grooming Talk about grooming…. After […]
WLBOTT is preparing its official vice presidential selection. Our CEO/CCCP, Will Bott, will make a fine running mate for Kamala Harris. In the coming days, we will provide a full press announcement. But first we must address with some bad news. Opposition Research As part of our due diligence, we have thoroughly researched Will Bott‘s […]
Ladies and Gents – I believe WLBOTT needs to take responsibility for cratering the internet vs CrowdStrike. I think our post about anchovies directed so much traffic to our site, that the internet Floundered from all the Carping. Some on the internet want to put our heads on a Pike, but we can redeem ourselves […]