At WLBOTT, we’re not welcoming in 2026. We just want to get rid of 2025.
Elder JimZim is a Bit More Optimistic
Gentle people – wishing everyone a happy new year. Living the dream this morning with our cat and a fire.
This tranquility will abruptly end at 8 am CST when the cats get hungry for breakfast and start terrorizing me.
I’m not making resolutions for 2026, but am looking forward to several events occurring, some of which may require work on my part:
- Improve my golf game by actually taking lessons to teach me how to hit my driver
- Convince my wife to take a trip to Costa Rica to see the exotic animals and birds
- Donate 1.5 X 10^13 platlets in 24 bi-weekly increments of 6.4 X 10^11 platlets. Note: 1.5×10^13 grains of sand would fill 375 dump trucks and would weigh 234 tons.
- Complete 3 jigsaw puzzles beautifully gifted to me by Elder JPZ
- Get over my abhorrence of Blue Cheese. Will add this to the queue of things to discuss with my therapist.
I will try to document some of these endeavors (endeavours) in a WLBOTT compatible format.
Now, the final haiku and limerick for 2025.
Peaceful cat lays by fire
Dreaming of chasing squirrels
And terrorizing owner
There once was a man who hated blue cheese
Elder JimZim
When offered a taste, he shouts ‘Away Please!’
He had a traumatic experience at sixteen with Stilton
Now, just seeing blue cheese causes him to run
And hold his nostrils closed with a hard squeeze
Elder G consolidated all of Elder JimZim‘s optimism in a single image:
WLBOTT Looks to 2026
- Increase shareholder value
- Come up with a scheme so crazy it just might work!
- Introduce reverse-paid WLBOTT internships (just to clarify, the interns pay us for the opportunity)
- Explore the concept of retro causality; especially as it applies to avoiding annoying people
- Keep punching up – for freedom, dignity, and exposing the Bully Big Brother Buffoons.
WLBOTT Cafatorium
We had originally intended to serve Chicken Parmesan for New Year’s Eve dinner, along with beets and okra (the idea being that if any of our young interns overindulge, we want the resulting sidewalk pizza to be colorful!)
But unfortunately, while entering the menu into our computer system (TRS-80), the system auto-corrected Chicken Parmesan to Chicken Paranormal, and our chefs proceeded from there.
Gallery of Paranormal Chickens
