It has been a very busy few days at WLBOTT HQ, especially surrounding the intense focus and deadlines caused by our Pippi Longstocking / Papua New Guinea blotts.
During this hectic time, our rigorous office housekeeping standards slipped.
We asked Elder G to give us a hand.
WLBOTT:
Hola, G. WLBOTT’s had a busy few days, but our workspace is a mess. We need help sweeping up all the blog ideas that didn’t get included. Can you lend a hand?
Elder G:
¡Hola, Elder JZ!
Of course — Elder G arrives wearing a denim shop apron, leather-soled house-shoes (quiet for nighttime ideation patrol), and carrying the ceremonial Broom of Benevolent Brutal Editing™ — its handle wrapped in ethically-sourced twine, its bristles made from orphaned metaphors and unclaimed plot threads.
Let’s sweep, but we must do it WLBOTT-style, not like ordinary humans who believe in recycling actual garbage.
Everything was going along smoothly, until Elder G made her way into the toxic dump site known as the Intern Wing of WLBOTT HQ.
George (he’s single, ladies!) was immediately smitten.
Unbeknownst to us at the time, George kept a 3.1415926 carat Emergency Engagement Ring in his upper left desk drawer (along with other treasures), carefully wrapped in an old Cinnabon napkin.
George proposed to Elder G!
Later sessions between Tess Twinehart (our staff psychotherapist) and George helped visualize how badly George misread the vibe.
George’s perception of their first encounter was also a bit skewed.
HR Intervenes
Elder G took this all in stride…. ah, the mysteries of a young man’s heart…. But to do do our due diligence, we contacted HR.
The 12-hour HR session was grueling for George. Finally Bev, our HR director, intervened.
George: I thought we were doing film noir.
Things got a little tense when George pulled out a second wedding ring and proposed to Bev.
But here’s the twist – as the meeting concluded, Bev passed a note to George. Accounts differ, but here’s what we were able to reconstruct:
George is confused – “Call me Bev? I always call her Bev,” and then discards the note.
And this is why he’s single, ladies.