Elder JimZim is once again attempting to prove the Earth is round. We fully support his efforts. On a recent flight between WLBOTT regional offices, he became curious about the horizon. How do you calculate it based on your height from the ground?
Flight 314159, Somewhere Over Alabama
Elder JimZim, apostle of Spherical Truth, sits in seat 19F, resplendent in his colorful embroidered Druid robe, which drapes heroically over the armrests and slightly into the aisle, where it has already been run over twice by the beverage cart.
In his right hand: a crumpled airline barf bag, now repurposed as “Emergency Horizon Note Repository.” In his left: a solar-powered calculator he insists works better at cruising altitude.
Elder JimZim works diligently on his calculations while nervous passengers look on.
Somewhere over Shreveport, Elder JimZim had a major breakthrough.
Actual in-flight calculations…..
Elder JZ’s Contribution
Elder JimZim was offered additional complimentary in-flight air-sick bags. Due to turbulence and the need for extra scratch paper, he had to ring the flight attendant numerous times.
By the end of the flight, with his calculations safely tucked away and a sufficient supply of barf bags at hand, Elder JimZim felt (and looked!) decades younger.
Anyhow, back to unreality. Time to test the theory!
From: Elder JimZim <elderJimZim@wlbott.com> Sent: 18-Oct-25 7:39 AM To: Elder JA <elderJA@wlbott.com>; Elder JZ <elderJZ@wlbott.com>; Elder DZ <elderDZ@wlbott.com>; Kilgor Trout <kTrout@wlbott.com>
Subject: If I can see further… Gentle People – “If I have seen further, it is because I’m standing on the shoulders of giants” is a quote generally attributed to Newton. But how far can you actually see from an elevated place above earth. Bored on airplane, I did some easy calcs for distance to horizon from different elevations and time for sound and light to travel that distance. See attached spreadsheet.
Elder JA, please verify by standing on the top of Mt Assiniboine near Banff (elev. 11,870 feet) and looking east to see if he can see Calgary ( ~70 miles away)..
This also led to the following rabbit hole ending in discovery of The Last Man Who Knew Everything:
Newton’s giant quote was in a letter from him to Hooke
I know the name Hooke from Hooke’s Law related to spring constants
A generalization of Hooke’s Law is Young’s modulus or the concept of a linear relationship between force and stretch
Thomas Young was the epitome of a thinker and scholar in the earlier 1700’s, described as “the last man who knew everything”. Polyglot, proved Newton wrong, deciphered Rosetta Stone, physician…
Thomas Young limerick:
There once was a brilliant man named Young He studied materials, light and the tongue There were no boundaries to his curiosity By-passed by life’s carnal pleasures due to his scientific intensity And he blushed intensely when his praises were sung
Thomas Young’s Hello Cupid profile picture, circa 1803, may have contributed to his lifetime of chastity.
On Saturday, October 18, 2025, 9:09 AM, Elder JA <elderJA@wlbott.com> wrote:
Gentle Elder JimZim,
Thanks for another fine bit of poetry.
I’ve reviewed your request for verification of the line-of-sight to horizon from Mt. Assiniboine. My preliminary research suggests that it will not be possible to see Calgary, primarily due to other mountain peaks being in the way, notably Mt. Bogart (possible connection to Humphrey?) and Mt. Galatea. Or Mt. Bryant or Mt. McDougall or Moose Mountain, just to name a few.
Nevertheless, I am up to the challenge, as perhaps I may be able to spot the smog from the city at that distance. Please see the attached analysis prepared by my assistant, ChatGPT, showing the various items that I will need to purchase, and other costs, for the climb. On receipt of the funds, I will embark on a shopping trip and start making preparations for the climb.
=====
Go No Kings! Elder JA
From: Elder JimZim <elderJimZim@wlbott.com>
Sent: Saturday, October 18, 2025 9:13 AM
To: Elder JA <elderJA@wlbott.com>; Elder JZ <elderJZ@wlbott.com>; Elder DZ <elderDZ@wlbott.com>; Kilgor Trout <kTrout@wlbott.com>
Subject: Re: If I can see further…
Elder JA – I really appreciate your willingness to carry out this important scientific mission to Mt Assiniboine. Unfortunately, the WLBOTT coffers are currently at $162. We have two options:
cash out the account and you go to the River Cree casino and parlay the $162 into $10000. That should cover the recommended equipment.
use the $162 for a Swiss Army knife, some granola, and the petrol to get you to and from the mountain.
Elder JZ can provide you with required release forms to shield WLBOTT from liability incurred during your ascent and descent.
On 10/18/2025 4:28 PM, Elder JA wrote:
Elder JimZim,
I really appreciate that you are willing to trust me with the entirety of WLBOTT’s bank account. I’ve considered the choices and
I am terrible at gambling. I get easily frustrated with the total randomness of the cards combined with the certainty that the house is going to make a profit. In the immortal words of Mike Neun (the entertainer, not the boxer), “I used to go to Vegas to win big. Then I started going to break even. Now I just try to lose more slowly.”
The funds would not be sufficient to provide petrol for there-and-back. The fuel prices in Alberta are reasonably low, but refueling in British Columbia would break the bank.
So, as much as I would enjoy freezing my butt off at an altitude where oxygen is scarce, I must respectfully decline the assignment.
Sincerely,
Elder JA
From: Elder JZ <wordOnHigh@wlbott.com>
Sent: 18-Oct-25 5:37 PM
To: Elder JA <elderJA@wlbott.com>; Elder JimZim <elderJimZim@wlbott.com; Elder DZ <elderDZ@wlbott.com>; Kilgor Trout <kTrout@wlbott.com>
Subject: Re: If I can see further…
Okay, Gentle People. I was about to caution you that we don’t use such language as “Assiniboine” in our WLBOTT home[1], but it turns out to be a real place.
I look forward to blotting about it.
– Elder JZ, in behalf of the WLBOTT Ministry of Virtue and Vice
[1] Elder JA was perplexed – we have standards?
We asked him to spearhead a task force to review the WLBOTT blott content.
Subject: Wordy Dirds / Re: If I can see further… From: Elder JZ <blottMaster@wlbott.com> Date: 10/19/2025, 2:49 AM
To: Elder JA <elderJA@wlbott.com>; Elder JimZim <elderJimZim@wlbott.com; Elder DZ <elderDZ@wlbott.com>; Kilgor Trout <kTrout@wlbott.com>
Elder JA, I’m glad you brought this matter to the attention of the WLBOTT Ministry of Virtue and Vice. You have been tasked with spearheading the task force to establish the guidelines.
To get you started, we have performed the following analysis of our 1,012 published posts.
On 10/18/2025 10:43 PM, Elder JA wrote:
> > Seems like a fine line between mistress and mannequin. > What are the guidelines for taboo language at WLBOTT? > > JA >
Semi-Sequitur: A Question for the Elders
Do the Elders’ new smart phones have a calculator built in? Mine has regular and scientific built into the standard utilities. Allows you to do calcs while on plane, further making your seat mate look for the flight attendant call button.
– Elder JimZim
This set off a heated debate among the Elders. It seems that many are passionate about their favorite calculator function.
