Elder KM runs a wonderful non-profit called ENGin. Sometimes she received WLBOTT emails on her ENGin email account. I imagine someday her organization will get a FOIA request, and KM will have to go to a deposition and explain these WLBOTT emails!
The Dreaded Subpoena
The Drama
FOIA vs. WLBOTT — A Legal Drama in Three Acts
Scene: A sterile federal conference room — Styrofoam coffee cups, humming fluorescent lights, a portrait of a very serious-looking founding father glaring disapprovingly.
Elder KM, in full professional grace, sits at a polished table. A lawyer adjusts his glasses and begins the deposition.
Official Transcript — Deposition #17-A: ENGin Email Irregularities
Lawyer:
“Ms. KM, could you please explain this email labeled ‘URGENT: Twine-based Peace Initiative—Phase III (Now with Goats)’?”
KM (calmly):
“That would be… a cultural exchange exercise.”
Lawyer flips pages, confused.
Lawyer:
“And this one… ‘The Inner Pig-Dog Must Be Confronted: A Memo on Motivational Spirit Beasts’ — was that part of your English tutoring initiative?”
KM:
“Technically, yes. It contained vocabulary.”
The lawyer, clearly rattled, reads aloud slowly.
“From: Elder G. Subject: Better Living Through Twine — A Manifesto.… Ms. KM, are you aware that this email is 47 pages long and includes a tactical map of Iceland?”
KM (with quiet dignity):
“Iceland is a metaphor.”
FOIA Finding:
The official record will show:
“ENGin occasionally received communications from an entity known as WLBOTT. The content of these communications cannot be fully explained using conventional logic.”
The Summons
The Courtroom
Cross Examination — The Pig-Dog File
Twine Intervention Strategy Reveal
“Are You Now, Or Have You Ever Been, An Elder?”
Verdict: Mild Bewilderment from the Bench
The WLBOTT sketch artist took some liberties with her honor’s appearance.
Post-Trial Reflections — We Build Bridges, They Bring Twine
WLBOTT Stands With Elder KM
Did KM’s hot mike really capture “Thanks, but no thanks“?
