WLBOTT CFO Elder JimZim and I discussed Gravelax last week. Gravelax is a DIY Nordic cured salmon recipe. The WLBOTT Test Kitchen and Tractor Lube Station (The Ladle & Lube) began making it several days ago (more below).
Unfortunately, I was under the mistaken impression that Elder JimZim was pitching an idea for a new WLBOTT product: Gravelax, an asphalt and gravel-based laxative.
I’ve had the WLBOTT marketing team working of various ad campaigns. Since we’ve already invested all this time and money, we will continue throwing good money after bad. This is the WLBOTT Way.
A Nobel Prize?
I think we’re really onto something here. I’m talking Nobel Prize level stuff.
Our Target Demographic
We need your help. As part of the advertising campaign, we want to highlight some very inconvenient places where Gravelax would save the day. Current opportunities for product placement:
- Rodeo
- Farris Wheel / Carnival
- Starting line of the WLBOTT 5K
- Bullring
- The Nobel Prize award ceremony
Please send us your suggestions. We value your life experience.
Let Us Enumerate
Farris Wheel / Carnival
Starting line of the WLBOTT 5K
The Bullring
Cross Country Excursions
The Rodeo
A Brief Return to Reality
So, we did indeed make Gavelax. Really simple:
- Put a salmon fillet in the deep freezer for a couple days to kill the parasites
- Thaw the fillet
- Make a rub that consists of:
- salt
- sugar
- dill (which we didn’t have, so we substituted course black pepper, HEB chili powder, and thyme)
- Wrap it tight in cling wrap
- Stick it in the fridge for a couple days
- Rinse the now-gavelax-atized fish
- Slice, enjoy (or alternatively, gift the gavelax to feral neighborhood cats)
The resulting delicacy had a texture somewhere between Vaseline and an unflavored fruit rollup. I will probably be enjoying the gavelax in steaming bowls of ramen noodles.
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