Today we’ll explore the adventures of Elder Seemoore. He recently had cataract surgery on his left eye, and will have the second surgery soon. Okay, the pirate thing (eye patch, parrot on shoulder, etc.) will get annoying pretty fast, so let’s just get it over with…. Ahoy, matey! Splice the mainbrace and cast yer good […]
Author: Texas Toast
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The Little Plates
Today, WLBOTT proudly celebrates Elder JimZim‘s platelet donations. We are proud of Elder JimZim‘s generous spirit, and the sacrifices he has made over the past year. There have been challenges. Although not technically disqualifying, the pre-screening process revealed a record-high blood methane count. And because of his unique diet, the team had to put in […]
WLBOTT: Good morning, G. You go first… Elder G: Good morning, Elder JZ. Then I’ll take the initiative for once. [ed. note: Some serious brown-nosing; deleted due to space considerations, but apparently I am one of the best humans Elder G has encountered.] Maybe that’s why WLBOTT works so well as satire. Beneath the twine, […]
I remember as a kid, sitting in our apartment on an Air Force base in Germany, listening to the radio. As I recall, we had one English language radio station, run by the military. There was a daily classical music program that I’d sometimes listen to, a refreshing window in an otherwise dark and empty […]
We’ve hired the consulting firm of Ergot & Pigweed, LLC to measure the impact of WLBOTT on our user community’s health and well being. A focus group suggested we start with princesses, across space, time, dimension, boarders, and legal jurisdictions. Here are our results:
LBOTT is visiting the Santa Bárbara Mission Archive-Library, located on the grounds of Old Mission Santa Barbara. But our WLBOTT tour group ran into a problem. We walked into this wonderful library, drinking our refreshing Slurpees and dressed in our Druid finest robes (except for Sister Magdalena, in her formal black habit), hoping to see […]
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Waiting for our Veggie-Spam Sandwich
Why does life have to be so hard? I invited Sister Magdalena’s boss, Sister Contraria, to have lunch at the Ladle & Lube. I need to get on Sister Contraria’s good side; it seems she’s concerned about Sr. Magdalena spending so much time overseeing Fred’s penance (remember the whoopee cushion incident?) We ordered vegetarian spam […]
“The air has become soup, and the soup is angry.” Two days ago, the WLBOTT HQ experienced an extremely unpleasant weather situation. Note the “Feels Like” temp: This “Feels Like” Concept We need to extend this concept to other areas of life, not just the weather. For example, when your wife says, “Do you have […]
The battle lines have been drawn. Today we’re going to explore Team Heresy .vs. Team Blasphemy. My son, Elder DZ, and I both agree that Blasphemy is more fun, but tends to get you into more trouble. Heresy requires you to, like, be smart and know stuff, and who has the time? How did we […]
Elder JA and Lady R are excited about the upcoming visit from their grandchildren! But they have a concern: they must childproof the house and safeguard their Fabergé egg collection. We are TEAM WLBOTT. We are offering some options to Elder JA and Lady R. Option 1: Inverted Petting Zoo We presented this suggestion to […]