How’s my morning going, you may ask?
Well, I managed to shave off my lower left nostril in the shower this morning. Nothing serious – a quick trip to the ER and 3 pints of blood later, and I’m back at work at HQ. But we do have a meeting in a little bit with our lawyer – to plan for eventual succession and the distribution of WLBOTT assets in the event of our demise.
Elder G was nearby, and able to apply a twine-based tourniquet to the injured nostril.
We were able to get to our legal appointment in time.
It turns out giving our emotional support chicken power of attorney was problematic, and required additional paperwork.
Back at HQ
When we returned to WLBOTT HQ, our unpaid marketing intern George (he’s single, ladies!) asked about our adventures. George asked if he could add a little flair to the story, and prepare a storyboard for our board of directors. He wanted to instill confidence in my strength and virility.
It seems some board members are concerned, especially following my fourth routine annual physical this month.
George is still working on the romance novel concept.
A Word from WLBOTT’s Ministry of Ethics and Integrity
Some lesser organizations may be tempted to use this incident for their crass political gain, but not WLBOTT. That is why we are refusing to release the following photos of the incident:
For Reference Purposes Only
Staged by Republicans
Within minutes of the shooting, the word staged became the second-highest trending topic on Twitter, generating about 600 million views with the help of bot accounts. Left-wing users posted conspiracy theories of a false flag operation, dubbed “BlueAnon”, in reference to QAnon. False claims included that the shooting and blood on Trump were faked; that crisis actors were used; that the victim who died was a “‘sacrifice’ to make the attempt look more realistic”; that the shooting was intended to improve Trump’s chance of winning the election; and, according to a Democratic strategist, that Republicans staged the shooting to improve Trump’s image. […] A Morning Consult poll two days after the shooting implied one in five Americans believe the shooting was staged, including a third of Biden voters.
Wikipedia