Peaked? Admittedly, to pretend that WLBOTT has done anything except flatline – that is rather presumptuous on my part. But we won’t let reality deter us. The question is: once you’ve (fraudulently) achieved the highest award possible, is there any point going on? And what is the highest award possible? The cover of Mad Magazine, […]
Author: Texas Toast
Many myths surround the Birth of WLBOTT, going back to Mesozoic era. Many great works of art have tried to capture the mystical nature of our origins. Classical Renditions Modern Interpretations The Animated “Birth of WLBOTT” Disney+ [ed. note: if you sign up for Disney+, you forfeit your rights to sue WLBOTT] Film Noir WLBOTT […]
Two astronauts are stuck on the ISS. Their return vehicle, the Boeing Starliner, was determined to be non-space-worthy yesterday. The astronauts will have to wait until February to get a ride back to Earth. Expedition 71 Sunita Williams Barry Wilmore Mount Juliet High School – Barry Wilmore’s Alma Mater What’s Cookin’? Some highlights that caught […]
Wikiomancy has proven its value and legitimacy. As you may recall, Wikiomancy (https://www.wlbott.com/?p=34495), or divining the future via random Wikipedia articles, can provide shareholder value, excellent return on investment, and plausible deniability against all claims. A few nights ago, Señor Elder UC#4 was engaged in his normal nighttime routine: aimlessly scrolling through random Wikipedia articles. […]
We are reporting on an internationally incident that, thankfully, WLBOTT was not involved in. We fired up the WLBOTT time machine to share with you: An incident happened in 2012 during an international shooting championship in Kuwait. The organizers mistakenly played a parody version of Kazakhstan’s national anthem from the movie Borat: Cultural Learnings of […]
Prior to the digital era, mankind had to resort to various iffy techniques for divining God’s will: But now we live in the age of reason. Come on, people, this is the 20th 21st century! So…. in the past we were confined to reading tea leaves, chicken entrails (ewww), gazing at the stars…. to divine the […]
[ed. note: during the comprehensive peer review of today’s BLOTT, UC#2 pointed out that this topic has been covered by other great works of art, including Beetlejuice, Defending Your Life, Saturday Night Live, and possibly Eraserhead, Caged Heat: Parking Ticket Lockup III, and Rocky XXVII. However, at this point, we’d already invested more than 45 […]
On August 6th, 2024, Ukraine made a well-planned incursion into Kursk. The Kursk Oblast (or state) is an 11,582 sq. mile area that borders eastern Ukraine. It has a population of just over a million, and has been populated since the last ice age. Eduard Mykhailovych Moskaliov (Ukrainian: Едуард Михайлович Москальов; born 22 December 1973) […]
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Night Comes On
Night Comes On is a 1984 song by Leonard Cohen. Night Comes OnLeonard CohenI went down to the place where I knew she lay waitingUnder the marble and the snowI said, “Mother I’m frightened, the thunder and the lightningI’ll never come through this alone”She said, “I’ll be with you, my shawl wrapped around youMy hand […]
The Elders are naturally curious people, and constantly engage in their own science fair projects. UC#3 UC#3 is engaged in his own personal journey: Corn Through Both Time and Space: Tracking the Digestive Journey of Corn in Humans. We eagerly await the publication of his results in the journal Nature. Semi-Sequitur: UC#3 is the WLBOTT […]