{"id":54428,"date":"2025-08-03T04:55:49","date_gmt":"2025-08-03T09:55:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/?p=54428"},"modified":"2025-08-04T07:18:25","modified_gmt":"2025-08-04T12:18:25","slug":"home-remedies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/?p=54428","title":{"rendered":"Home Remedies"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

At WLBOTT<\/strong>, we consider our employees to be our most important asset[1]<\/sup>. That’s why instead of the newfangled medical insurance, we offer our employees solutions that have been available for thousands of years: Home Remedies!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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[1]<\/sup> No implied warranty or commitment of any kind. And not true.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Elder JimZim<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The genesis for this blott is a recent trip Elder JimZim<\/strong> took to his bronze-plan pharmacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Gentle people – on our Ball of Twine Tour, we will be traveling to distant lands where doctors and Western pharmaceutical remedies for our ailments may not be readily available. [ed. note: this includes all of America.]<\/span> I went to a Mexican market in Houston today and found a treasure trove of natural remedies for all of life\u2019s challenges. Zoom in and read the placards for the herb\u2019s name and curative properties. Exclusive use of these products will most certainly recommended by our new Health officials in Washington.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think it is worthy for each of us fellow travelers to offer up any non-traditional remedies that have worked for us, so that we can share as a community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To get the ball rolling for me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. if you have the hiccups, hold your breath and press down on the top of your head very hard – at least 30 seconds.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. when there is a larger than usual moon (just after moonrise), stand with your back to the moon, bend over and then look between your parted legs at the moon. It will now appear normal size.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. any ailment can be cured with a pickles and mayonnaise sandwich. It only works if you use white bread, HELLMAN\u2019s mayonnaise, and sliced kosher dill pickles.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    I look forward to hearing other remedies that you have found successful so that the elders can catalogue and use them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    May the herbs be with you.<\/p>\nElder JimZim<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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    Elder KM’s Home Remedies<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    Elder KM<\/strong> provides some home remedies from eastern Europe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    Well, I’m Ukrainian so questionable folk remedies are kind of my specialty. We even have a saying “odna baba skazala” (literal translation: some older woman told me) making fun of the weak sourcing of many of the remedies that we grew up on.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    That said, some of the remedies are now accepted by the West, so I guess they were real after all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    1. Gargling with salt water for a sore throat – many a classmate made fun of me for this, but now most doctors recommend it. Look who’s laughing now!<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    2. Steam – your mom brings a steaming pot of water or potatoes or something into your bed. You are covered up completely with the pot and forced to breathe in the steam. How did I not end up in the hospital with serious burns after this? Now, my pediatrician regularly suggests putting a kid in the bathroom with the hot shower running, and I think, “Wow, maybe should have done it that way, mom!”<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    3. Mustard plasters for the back – can’t recommend<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    4. Hot jars on the back – a special kind of gross, as the jar creates suction and pulls up one’s skin. Fortunately, this one is so hard to execute my mom didn’t do it often.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    5. Warm liquid described below<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    6. Cabbage leaf on the head to cool a fever (at least it felt nice).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      I’ll stop there, but that is just a sample of the wonders of Ukrainian folk medicine.<\/p>\nElder KM<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

      As a child, Elder KM<\/strong> was once given a locally sourced liquid home remedy with the following approximate components:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Total nitrogen<\/td>8830 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Ammonium\/ammonia-N<\/td>460 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Nitrate and nitrite<\/td>0.06 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Chemical oxygen demand<\/td>6000 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Total phosphorus<\/td>800 \u2013 2000 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Potassium<\/td>2740 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Sulphate<\/td>1500 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Sodium<\/td>3450 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Magnesium<\/td>120 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Chloride<\/td>4970 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr>
      Calcium<\/td>230 mg\/L<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

      KM did not report any health benefits of this slightly acidic amber liquid, and refused further treatments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      Update from Elder KM<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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      And I can’t believe I forgot about the onions! Anytime we had a stuffy nose, we would cut up an onion and sleep next to it, ideally going under the blanket. (and I still do this sometimes actually). I don’t know about science, but it does clear out your nose and helps you sleep \ud83d\ude42 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      As for the evil eye, we have something called “sglazyty”, like “to jinx”. And the idea is that if you talk about your achievements too much, or generally your life is better than someone’s, they can cause bad luck by being jealous. Even inadvertently. So some similarities to what you describe in the BLOTT. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

      Elder KM has inspired the new WLBOTT masking protocols:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      Elder JZ<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      Probably the grossest childhood home remedy was Kaopectate. It was like drinking pond silt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      In the United States, the active ingredient in Kaopectate is bismuth subsalicylate. Bismuth subsalicylate is an antidiarrheal and upset stomach reliever. It’s the same active ingredient found in Pepto-Bismol.<\/p>\nfound somewhere in the Internet<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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      Eggcellent blott topic. Thanks to all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      My personal home remedies (and please don’t take any medical advice from me. Just to be safe, don’t take any<\/strong><\/u><\/em> advice from me.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n