{"id":37350,"date":"2024-10-06T16:50:33","date_gmt":"2024-10-06T21:50:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/?p=37350"},"modified":"2024-10-06T16:58:43","modified_gmt":"2024-10-06T21:58:43","slug":"meet-tess-twinehart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/?p=37350","title":{"rendered":"Meet Tess Twinehart!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We are very excited to introduce our latest <strong>WLBOTT <\/strong>employee, Tess Twinehart. <\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0023_profile.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-37352\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0023_profile.png 400w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0023_profile-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0023_profile-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tess will have two responsibilities at <strong>WLBOTT<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li class=\"\">Provide <strong><em>intense <\/em><\/strong>psychotherapy to the deeply disturbed upper management<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"\">Write a periodic <em>&#8220;Advice to the Lovelorn&#8221;<\/em> column for our web site.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Our decision to hire Tess was inspired by the John Prine song <strong>Dear Abby<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text is-stacked-on-mobile has-small-font-size\" style=\"grid-template-columns:56% auto\"><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0015.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-37354 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0015.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0015-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0015-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0015-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dear Abby, dear Abby,<br><br>My feet are too long<br>My hair&#8217;s falling out and my rights are all wrong<br>My friends they all tell me that I&#8217;ve no friends at all<br>Won&#8217;t you write me a letter, won&#8217;t you give me a call<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Signed bewildered<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text has-media-on-the-right is-stacked-on-mobile has-small-font-size\" style=\"grid-template-columns:auto 55%\"><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dear Abby, dear Abby,<br><br>My fountain pen leaks<br>My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks<br>Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed<br>If it weren&#8217;t so expensive I&#8217;d wish I were dead<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Signed unhappy<\/p>\n<\/div><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0016.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-37356 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0016.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0016-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0016-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0016-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text is-stacked-on-mobile has-small-font-size\" style=\"grid-template-columns:58% auto\"><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0013.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-37358 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0013.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0013-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0013-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0013-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dear Abby, dear Abby,<br><br>You won&#8217;t believe this<br>But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss<br>My girlfriend tells me it&#8217;s all in my head<br>But my stomach tells me to write you instead<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Signed noise-maker<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text has-media-on-the-right is-stacked-on-mobile has-small-font-size\" style=\"grid-template-columns:auto 64%\"><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dear Abby, dear Abby,<br><br>Well I never thought<br>That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught<br>We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze<br>With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Signed just married<\/p>\n<\/div><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0014.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-37360 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0014.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0014-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0014-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0014-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tess still keeps up with those young newlyweds!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-2 is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0008.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" data-id=\"37364\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0008.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-37364\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0008.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0008-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0008-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0008-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0010.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" data-id=\"37363\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0010.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-37363\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0010.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0010-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0010-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0010-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0007.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" data-id=\"37362\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0007.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-37362\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0007.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0007-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0007-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dearAbby_0007-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tomorrow we&#8217;ll share Tess&#8217; impressive resume, how she came by the nickname &#8220;The Chicken Whisperer&#8221;, and the snarled and tangled path that led her to <strong>WLBOTT<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-2 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0026.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1792\" height=\"1024\" data-id=\"37367\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0026.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-37367\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0026.jpg 1792w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0026-300x171.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0026-1024x585.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0026-768x439.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0026-1536x878.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/tess_0026-1200x686.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1792px) 100vw, 1792px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We are very excited to introduce our latest WLBOTT employee, Tess Twinehart. Tess will have two responsibilities at WLBOTT: Our decision to hire Tess was inspired by the John Prine song Dear Abby: Dear Abby, dear Abby, My feet are too longMy hair&#8217;s falling out and my rights are all wrongMy friends they all tell [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[15,121,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-existential-angst","category-shareholder-value","category-wlbott-corporate"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37350"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37373,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37350\/revisions\/37373"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}