{"id":32715,"date":"2024-07-24T07:25:45","date_gmt":"2024-07-24T12:25:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/?p=32715"},"modified":"2024-07-24T07:42:35","modified_gmt":"2024-07-24T12:42:35","slug":"will-bott-our-vp-selection-part-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/?p=32715","title":{"rendered":"Will Bott: Our VP Selection (part I)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

WLBOTT <\/strong>is preparing its official vice presidential selection. Our CEO\/CCCP, Will Bott<\/strong>, will make a fine running mate for Kamala Harris. In the coming days, we will provide a full press announcement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But first we must address with some bad news.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Opposition Research<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As part of our due diligence, we have thoroughly researched Will Bott<\/strong>‘s past, and encountered several problematic areas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The Iowa Incident<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

While living in Iowa<\/strong>, Will <\/strong>claimed he could see Russia <\/strong>from his back porch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The Shirly Jones Incident<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Will <\/strong>had an embarrassing schoolboy crush on Shirley Jones. He auditioned for a spot on a commercial for Shirley’s Coney Island Hot Dog Steamer<\/strong>, but it didn’t go well.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Accusations of Twine Marketing Fraud<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

In an attempt to boast twine sales, Will Bott went on a nationwide campaign with the slogan, “Anything can be a kite!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turns out, a lot of things can’t be a kite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Unfortunate Statements<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

To a divorced mother of three<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Will Bott<\/strong> once said to a divorced mother of three in Omaha, ”You work three jobs? Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.”[1]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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[1] <\/sup>Our mistake. That was actually a quote from George W. Bush, Feb 5th, 2005.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Under Medication<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Another unfortunate quote by Will Bott<\/strong>, overheard at a K-Street cocktail party: ”I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.”[2]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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[2]<\/sup> Again, our mistake. That was Nixon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Commencement Speech at Texas A&M<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Will Bott, the 2002 commencement speaker at Texas A&M, waxing philosophical: “‘We know there are known knowns: there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns: that is to say we know there are things we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns \u2014 the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”[3]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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[3]<\/sup> Yet again, our mistake. That was Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Defense Department briefing, Feb. 12, 2002<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Will Bott Addressing His Checkered Past<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

”When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and never tried it again.”[4]<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[4]<\/sup> Wait – sorry – that was Bill Clinton.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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During our detailed background check, we learned that Will Bott<\/strong> experimented with marijuana, but never exhaled<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Unfortunately, Will became the poster boy for “Why Do You Think They Call It Dope?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Questionable Tattoos Choices<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Rodeo Clown \/ Pre-Jenny Craig<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Before joining Jenny Craig, Will Bott found work as a rodeo clown, but he terrified the children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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WLBOTT is preparing its official vice presidential selection. Our CEO\/CCCP, Will Bott, will make a fine running mate for Kamala Harris. In the coming days, we will provide a full press announcement. But first we must address with some bad news. Opposition Research As part of our due diligence, we have thoroughly researched Will Bott‘s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[113,16,42,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32715","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-collapse-of-democracy-civilization-etc","category-current-events","category-the-land-the-people-the-culture","category-wlbott-corporate"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32715","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=32715"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32715\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32775,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32715\/revisions\/32775"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=32715"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=32715"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wlbott.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=32715"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}